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  • Tony Degliomini

A matter of trusting ourselves…


“A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.” - Herman Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte

There seems to be a lot of lack of trust going on these days...I see it the news, even when a good deed seems to be done there are questions about the person’s motive or action. Do we trust the news or the media or our friends for that matter? Do we take nothing at face value or is there always suspicion following the comment or the act? Does there always have to be an ulterior motive involved? Why do we have such a hard time trusting you ask? Some say we have been exposed to bad bosses or relationships in the past, and these experiences limit our ability to trust in some ways again. That may very be the case…however I believe there is more to it…

Suspicion or a lack of trust seems to creep into life and work…why you ask? Whether its our boss, friend, and/or family member there is always that hint of a lack of trust…is it a lack of trust or are we not connecting and honoring who WE are?

Do our actions match our words? Or are we pretending or projecting our fears I ask?

Is it our inability to interpret what someone is really trying to convey to us, while suspending our thoughts at the same time?

Are we honoring what someone else is truly saying to us in that moment?

Are we honoring their personal thoughts and feelings and not allowing our own assumptions and beliefs to creep into this space?

Whether we are working or parenting, the ability to connect and form that trust is essential in everyday life.

“Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” ― Stephen R. Covey

Many times, I must pause to remind my self by thinking “is it really me not trusting what my heart and soul is really responding to.” By nature, we are programmed to respond from the ego and to defend it at all costs; however, does this ego really represent who we really are, I ask? We create walls and barriers to defend unequivocally this piece of us and deny the ability to trust others and ourselves at times.

I believe to honor who we truly are is the most trusted thing we can do! The center of who we are is the most treasured part of us and we most honor it by loving it and trusting it. When others witness this, they too honor it and there lies “true trust”. “True trust” is where we share our vulnerabilities and can be truly humble because we are honoring who we truly are while respecting that part of who they are!

In the end I have more questions on this matter of trust, however I know it’s the foundation of everything and everyone…

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them” ― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

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