Letting go…and gaining control.
Updated: Mar 17, 2019
Recently, I made a decision to make a change at work. This decision did not come easily nor suddenly. I lamented over this uneasy feeling in my stomach for months trying to figure out why I was so unhappy. This uneasiness became more pronounced over time until it came to me that I needed to take some action somehow in my life/work.
After talking with my family and friends, they had also seen a change in my outward persona towards everything in my life the last 6 months. Well with that confirmation made, I really set my sights on figuring out what was at the root of this unhappiness I was feeling. Simply, sometimes the answers are really are in our gut feeling, that something is off. I felt like I was going through the motions and not being present of who I am at work and home. As you are aware of already, changing is something we all resist unmercifully, it’s the terror of the unknown that typically hinders that action to take place on our part. The classic head is saying one thing and the heart is saying another. Yet we resist and find reasons to justify those limiting beliefs in our life (you’re too old, etc.). I continued to beat myself up over why I should be happy and content on where I was at work and career. Thinking “Who am I to think I should be fully content and happy?”
You see ever since graduating college I have lead teams, groups, and departments; although I get so much pleasure from leading people it at the same times is exhausting, the goal was leave nothing on the table after a day at work. My philosophy has always been take care of the people first, make them number ONE and everything will build from there; however after taking stock of where I am in my life and how I feel about my purpose, I decided I needed to let go of who I was to who I am now. We are so hard wired to see ourselves as one person our whole life, how unrealistic is that after all our life experience accumulate like marriage, children, tragedy, and loss?
Yes, Letting go…the pressure to always ascend the ladder and not look back paralyzed me in realizing I have changed the way I see life and work. Don’t get me wrong work is very important; but how we show up every day at work and in life are even more important. This feeling had spilled over into my family and personal relationships. The feeling of backing off something is so counter intuitive to all of us, right? We see it as weakness and failure; however to me it’s about being true to oneself. In fact, the words to describe when we make these changes/decisions in our life should be courageous and brave!
There are times in our life that require us to let go in order for us to grow as humans. We never stop growing and should always be alert to that gut feeling that sometimes awakens in us. In other words, we need to reduce speed and let go to gain control of where we are going at times…until the next time.